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I started to read “The Secret” and well let me be honest, I have not read every single word. But I read the beginning the part about the universe wanting you to be happy and I believe it. The thing is that the one thing I feel that I need to be happy is out of my control and in the control of the government, an agency, and God. So I pray.

Sometimes though, I do have doubt. Like maybe I will never really be truly happy because it seems like the only thing wrong with my life is that I am undocumented. Maybe once that goes away something else will have to be wrong with my life. In some ways I believe that not everything can go right like maybe it is too much for one person to have everything. Then I see other people have everything and I wonder maybe it is just me that cannot have everything. That is not what the secret says though, so I am trying to let go of that mentality and I am trying to believe that I deserve everything.

I do feel that once that obstacle is taken away I will be able to have everything I want. I just think that since everything else will be within my control I will be able to have it all and I wonder why other people do not. I guess maybe it is a simple way of looking at things and maybe I do not realize what is holding other people back. In my mind though I think that anything can be overcome. When I start to think about this I thank God for putting me in this situation. I think that is what I mean by being able to fly when others do not take advantage of their opportunity. Flying just seems so easy to me once I get those wings…..I must say though that I am not in their situation and maybe I am oversimplifying things in my mind….I guess when I do get my wings I will be able to tell you all if it really is that easy.


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