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My relationship to the law is a love hate one.
I love the law. It is fascinating to me. I love reading court cases. I love researching law. I love getting to know the way a society’s morals reflect within the law. I find the social contract that people make with law fascinating. Overall, I am in love with law.

I hate the situation in which I have to live because of a law. It is not an easy life. I hate the fact that I am constantly scared of being stopped by the police and asked for identification. I hate going on the bus because I never know when immigration might go on there asking everybody for papers. I hate not being able to drive because lets face it, it is necessary. For working, for going grocery shopping, for having a social life, for having a job. Oh, I hate the fact that I cannot work. I have to depend upon my parents for sustainment. I have a college degree, have been offered twenty-dollar-per-hour jobs and yet I cannot take them because of lack of documentation. I hate the fact that I have been turned away from clubs for not having the proper id and even when I do go clubbing I am paranoid of drinking because I do not want the police to stop me and question me.

I hate the fact that I have questioned my nationality and that at times I question why my parents would condemn me to this life. But in the end it is all worth it because even though I hate the situation I am in it has made me the person that I am.

Maybe it is because the law has put me in such a situation that I love studying it. I love immersing myself in reading ,and I love trying to figure out loop holes in it. My love for the study of law has prompted me to become a lawyer. That is my way of pursing happiness. Now, being my situation makes pursing a law degree hard, but I am half way there. I have finished my undergraduate education and even though I got side-tracked with dealing with myself, I managed to pull my grades up high enough to have a decent gpa to put in law school applications. After college, I decided to take a year off to work on my LSAT.

Now, for those of you that know nothing about the law school application process. It is hard. It is harder than undergrad and it is competitive. For some reason there are way too many people that want to become lawyers, me being one of them, and so the competition is large and the competition is tough. The LSAT is a grueling test, and once it gets done you never want to hear the words logical reasoning or logic games ever again. I used to think it was a fun test. Fun, until I started taking it every single day at 8 Am for a month.

When I went to take my test, people were talking, I panicked and did not do as awesome as I hoped. But I did well enough to get into an acceptable (T-14 🙂 ) law school. And here I am. Trying to find financial aid. I might wait a year and travel a little bit before I embark in such a journey, but I will embark on it. Oh thats another thing I hate. Not being able to travel because coming back the the United States is just too risky. I see people going all over the world and I cannot even go back to the place I was born, and well it does suck and I do hate it. But I might just have to take a risk and do it.

Knowing, however, that I did beat so many odds gives me a little smile on my face; a little feeling of pride. I love myself. I love my life and I love what is to come even though sometimes I hate the circumstances that brought me to this. Like I said… I love… I hate….and I love again; right now it is mostly love though.


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