Skip navigation

Monthly Archives: May 2008

I hate the argument that people make. We have laws, you know. Why do you not just become legal? How come you have to live illegally? Well trust me. If I could I would have done it a long time ago.
My grandmother was born in the United States. She was Born in America and decided to leave. The land called us back and eleven years ago me and my family filed for permanent residency through her. That was eleven years ago when I was eleven years old.
Since then we have not even received so much as an update from immigration services. And guess what I turned 21 so I have to now get behind a different line because I have aged out.
My case is not unlike a lot of people here. They are in line. Waiting to get their paper work done but the demand for permanent residency is huge and the backlog is so big that people wait a lifetime to get permanent residency. Sometimes I feel like my life is always about waiting. Like I am stuck at Disneyland in the two hour line and when I get to the front the ride breaks down.

Really there is nothing I can do at this point. Well, I guess there ARE other ways. I have been in the United States for about 15 years now. I know the language. I know the customs. I am a great student, and a wonderful Citizen. I volunteer and give blood. I know the rules.
I know of about three women who got here three years ago and now they are permanent residents of the United States. They cannot speak English. They do not understand the customs. One of them even longs to go back. All three of them drive. Yet sometimes they call me for help with their kids homework or with paperwork that they do not understand and I am always happy to help. In the back of my mind I do resent them a little bit. Just a little bit. You see. They never dreamed of living in the United States but it so happens that they had the good fortune of meeting a US Citizen who wanted to marry them, and so here they are.

Marrying a US Citizen is a way to become legalized in the United States, and I will not lie I have thought about it. I have had boyfriends and friends who have been Citizens who could have helped me. It is a little ironic; I feel.

Me, who considers herself to be an independent woman who is carrying around the banner of feminism…I NEED a man to be able to live as a full person in the United States. I refuse though. Not only because, yesm committing marriage fraud is illegal and very very frowned upon and also punishable by law, but also because I will not. WILL NOT. Trade in one form of slavery for another.
I have too many dreams. Too many hopes about life as a single person. Part of the reason I want to become legal so bad is so I can live out those dreams. Getting married would in a way mean the forfeiture of such dreams.

Do not get me wrong. I believe in marriage and hopefully one day I will find the right man and I will enter into an equal partnership with him. But that will be a partnership not a deal in which I am tying myself to a man to get something out of it.

I have heard stories of undocumented women who are in love with their husbands but because the husband feels that they have some power because they are the ones providing them with a ticket to stay in the country, they abuse that power and take advantage of them. They beat them and abuse them. I am sure this does not happen all the time, and maybe it only happens a little bit, but still, I will not put myself in that situation.

So here I am stuck in line to a Disney ride. Hopefully it is worth it.